A lot of you know I went through a divorce and I really haven’t touched base on any of it, but it is what it is, and I’m moving on. Dating after an extended absence from the romantic scene can be a daunting prospect. For women attempting to re-enter the dating world after having had children, the anxieties can be even more powerful. But the fact is, dating as a single mother is no huge difficulty, as long as you remember some basic tips.
Ask Your Friends
While online dating services and the like are the trend of the day, there is something to be said about asking around within your circle of friends first. While online dating is perfectly fine, dating someone you meet through friends has the added advantage of starting you out with something in common. Of course, some of your friends may maintain some kind of relationship with your ex, which can make going to them for romantic assistance troublesome. You’ll need to parse out where you stand with everybody, and you should probably restrain your asking around to those friends that are more distant from your former partner.
Stay Away From Rebounds
After getting out of a serious, long-term relationship, there is a tendency to either seek out the exact opposite of the person you were dating, or their precise doppelganger. Neither is an especially healthy way to move on, since both define your future happiness around your past partner. Rejecting all the traits that attracted you to your former mate can cut you off from things that you enjoy, while hewing too close to the type of your ex can leave you with the same problems that pulled the last relationship apart. Find a happy medium — someone with who you share interests without filling out an exact checklist.
Watch Out For Scammers
Unfortunately, the modern world has many people who will take advantage of others in any way they can get away with. Dating websites mostly consist of decent people looking to connect with someone, but occasionally, you’ll find yourself being contacted by a scammer. The best defense is to pay attention to what the person is asking you for. If, early in your correspondence, the person is asking for money or goods, or is reluctant to meet in person at a public place, the odds that they are not on the up and up are significant.
Be Upfront
As an adult with family, a career, and responsibilities, you don’t have a lot of time to mess around. You have relationship goals, and you need to find someone that can help you reach these goals. Being up front with prospective partners about what your life is and what you are looking for helps you avoid wasting time, both that of others and your own. While you probably shouldn’t open your first serious conversation with a list of demands, you can have a talk after it becomes apparent things might be working out with this person.
Mothers need companionship outside of their children as well. There is nothing wrong with dating as a single mother, as long as you keep your family responsibilities in mind. That way, you and your children can both be happy.
Do you have any tips to make dating any easier?
Lynne B
Sunday 3rd of December 2017
I'm glad to hear you're moving on. It seems like you have a healthy approach toward that goal. Good for you!